In Part 1 of this scenario, I ended the post saying that I’ll quit stalling and share my decision with you in my next post.  Thanks to those who offered advice!  Your views were split and I’m still deciding what to do as I type.

I wonder if my reluctance to give a poor review to the contractor I terminated is that I wonder if the problems were partly communications, not his abilities.  My gut says, “no,” he really wasn’t on his game for my job and I owe it to others to be honest.  I also want to be kind. So, here’s my actual review.

By the way, this whole process has opened my eyes to the phase, “not yet reviewed,” beside completed jobs.  I suspect in some circumstances this may be a client’s way to avoid the unpleasantness of a bad review – not necessarily, just something I’ll factor in.  My request: DO write reviews – you’re helping others, particularly the BEST performers who deserve to rise to the top… like Monica, the wonderful resource who helps me prepare and deliver these emails!

A recent Upwork contractor (“Bob”) is super friendly, fast, and really responsive – someone I enjoyed working with.  His work had recurring problems, so I gave up and moved on to another contractor.  Bob just asked me to please review him and give him a “5-Star” review.  I won’t, and I told him why.  Now, here’s the thing: do I give him the “2 Stars” (of 5) he deserves for “Quality of Work?”

I have no qualms warning others about a terrible product.  I’m struggling to give this guy I hardly know the grade he earned because I worry that doing so could turn OFF the spigot for further work for him.

Our global peer-to-peer community has at its very foundation the trustworthiness of our fellow man to tell one another about great and poor products and services.  I rely on the truth of others when making these decisions and now I’m considering hurting that very system by either a) softening my review, or b) not submitting one.

Weird – I’m thinking about lying to strangers to protect someone I hardly know. 

Furthermore, don’t we all owe it to the TRULY fantastic performers to honor them by differentiating them from those who were not as good?

Even as I write this I don’t know what I’m going to do.  I’ll quit stalling and share with you my decision in my next post.

See if you can relate to this story…

I’ve been wrestling with a frustrating situation.  I cannot fix it because I cannot change the people who are causing it.  I know this because I have tried to change those people – and, well, they don’t want to.

To be clear, I haven’t just tried a little, I’ve tried a LOT to get things to change. My efforts started with suggesting and recommending, then asserting and confronting. When those didn’t work I tried sleeping less, drinking more, taking on stress, and complaining to those close to me – even those haven’t worked. And to make it feel even more futile, the people whose views I’ve been trying to change don’t seem affected in the least.

Coincidentally, I began listening to the book, The Obstacle is the Way, by Ryan Holiday, and I became dramatically introspective. Holiday’s comment, emotion is an indulgence of our lesser self, felt like a reprimand directed at ME.

I still know that I’m right about the circumstances that need to be changed. AND, I’ve decided that focusing on what I can’t change is making me miserable. I am striving to focus on what I can control – what I can do to be my better self.